Time flys

January 10th, 2009

Well, my daughter who is also my best friend has just turned 16. Shes not a little girl any more.

To be honest, looking back, she hasnt been a lttle girl for years now. Not in her head anyway. When my little boy was born she was 10 years old. He was such hard work and she turned into a little mum. I was always so exhausted with the child that never stopped crying. She was amazing. She changed nappies, fed him, dressed him and basically did everything i was too tired for. She never complained.

When Jon’s IVA started she was 12 and when i was diagnosed with MS she was just coming up for 13.

My diagnosis hit the whole amily really hard. They had only ever known one person with it. She was my friend and sadly she passed away after a hard, long battle with MS. A battle she knew from the start she would never win. Unfortunately she was diagnosed too late for the best treatments to make a difference to the way she was.

My little girl had just started in a new school in a different town where she didnt know anybody. She felt so lost and we had problems getting her to go. Even now, if i’m not feeling well, she suffers in school and gets really stroppy with teahers.

She has an injury of her own that shes had to contend with for 5 years now. Shes had lots of physio and 2 operations and shes still suffering in pain.

Shes great though, she helps with housework, she will cook and she is a huge help with my little boy who as you know is Autistic. Infact shes amazing with him.

16 years old and had so much to put up with. I feel guilty sometimes when i look at her because out of all the kids, shes the only one who doesnt moan if i ask her to help me round the house. I also look at her and i could cry with pride.

My little girl has turned into a young lady with a great head on her shoulders and shes more than ready to take on anything that life can throw at her.

Shes not the kind of teenager who hangs around the streets drinking and smoking and intimidating people.

Shes responsible. Best of all, if she wants anything, she saves her dinner money up and buys it for herself. She says she likes doing that.

I am so thankfull for what i have here at home. I deffinitely dont need money to be happy.

I feel really lucky.

Thursdays meeting

December 9th, 2008

Well, i had the meeting on Thursday with the nice lady from the Autism team. It took just under 4 hours.

We had to go through my little boy’s history from birth till now. You just dont realize how hard it is to answer a question like “what age did he wave” or “when did he first sit up”    How was i supposed to remember things like that, after everything else thats happened along the way?

To be honest, i really could have done without it after being soooo poorly BUT we had waited a long time for this and i was not going to wait any longer.

Anyway, 4 hours later and we were all done. She told me there and then that he had ticked enough boxes to be diagnosed with Autism. We actually thought she would say it was Aspergers Syndrome but she said he was a bit more complex than that. She phoned me on Friday and confirmed it for deffinate. He IS Autistic and was going to need a LOT of support.

We expected it BUT i got really upset when he came home from school, i suppose reality set in. I was relieved also. Its hard when you think people just put it down to him being naughty and us being bad parents. Its so frustrating and sometimes i feel like putting a sign above his head saying “please dont judge me” but why should i?   People can be ignorant i know but hey thats their problem not mine.

Its been a bloody hard few years with his problems and my own and there have been plenty of times when i have wondered “why me” and “why us”      Life really is challenging, well mine is anyway.

People think im brave but im really not, im a bit of a wreck underneath.

Well, its a year since Jon’s Full and Final was accepted and what a year its been.Its gone so fast. I cant wait till we share the same sense of relief with my forum friends as they reach the end of their journeys…….and they will.

The determination we see on the forum every day is amazing. We have all got to know so much about each others lives and most have become firm friends. What an absolutely amazing support network the forum is.

Christmas is almost here again. This year is going to be so much better for us and he kids. They will be getting all the things they have waited so patiently for and a few added extras. Mum is cooking christmas dinner for us at her house but spending the morning here with us and the kids.

Everything is bought and paid for and theres not a penny owing to anybody………..Now that really gives you a sense of pride. All thats left to buy now is the food.

Dont get me wrong, theres been loads of times over the last few years where i have wanted to give up But one thing i have learned is…….no matter what life throws at you (well usually me it throws everything at) You can and will cope.

I’m falling apart at the seams and im like a walking zombie BUT im here, im alive and i am VERY VERY happy. I have the love of the most wonderful family and friends and that is PRICELESS.

I treasure every minute i spend with them all.

December 3rd, 2008

Well, i was so close to finishing this year without any more drama or upset………………..WRONG!!!

 I started feeling quite unwell on friday, i had a rotten head and a real hacking cough. By sunday i was a wreck so Monday morning i went to see GP. I walked to the top of the stairs and thought i was going to collapse, i just couldnt catch my breath. Anyway GP said i have Bronchitis and i was prescribed anti-biotics.

By Monday night i was really struggling to get a breath and at one point i actually thought i was going to die. I was taken in an ambulance to our local A&E and was on a Nebuliser all the way there which did help a bit. I had bloods done to test my oxygen levels. It came back that my levels were low so i was then sent for a chest xray to check for and masses or Pheumonia. Thankfully that came back clear.

I am at home again taking my anti biotics. Breathing is still a bit of a struggle and i have lost half a stone in weight but very slowly im starting to feel better.

The Bronchitis has played havoc with my MS. I had numb patches all over and the fingertips in one hand had completely dissappeared.

I can be pretty good at whatever life throws at me but i have to say, this past few days have been the most scary ever.

I have been beat!!!!

I hate to complain but i really have had enough now, i think its finally wore me down. BUT i will be back as soon as i have the energy to fight this.

Love to all my forum friends xxxxxxx

This time last year

November 3rd, 2008

We had put together hubby’s offer for his F&F and were waiting for the meeting of creditors to find out if it had been accepted. It had been a really stressfull few months before that, gathering as much info as we could and of course the nerves had already set in. What if they said no? could i cope with another 2 years of feeling so down and watching my life fall apart around me?

I remember, i hardly slept back then.  All i did was think and worry myself night after night. I must have cried myself dry.

I know now, looking back that the IVA was right for us……lets face it, we wouldnt have been able to eat if things would have got any worse so anything had to be better than that.

Christmas wasnt so bad i suppose, not as good as before but not so bad. I had paid into park hampers all year for vouchers so the kids got some nice things.

I played so ignorant to Jon’s IVA all the way through, just left it to him to deal with. Dont get me wrong, it worried the life out of me but living on not much money was something i was used to before i met Jon. I had done it before so i could do it again. I think my biggest problem was having this IVA thing hanging over our heads like a big dark cloud. If i had looked into it some more, i perhaps wouldnt have been so worried. It was only after joining the forum that i realised it wasnt as bad as i thought. Still wanted rid of it though LOL

We had so much more to worry about by then and this was the one of the worries that i suppose we were in control of and could do something about.

Things are really coming together now though. Hopefully December will bring a formal diagnosis for my little boy and strategies can be put in place to help both him and us.

Me? im still plodding on, although in lots of pain this last couple of days. Im really thinking i want to saw my legs off but my hands are too sore to hold the saw.

I’m sleeping down stairs again tonight because its much cooler down here but heaven help me if i need the toilet in the night. Dont quite think my legs will get me up the stairs without a fight. My legs are a bit jerky lately. The kids think its really funny and when it stops my daughter tells me to do it again…………..really LOL .   Still………..have to laugh………or i will crack up and i dont want to go there again.

My collection of shark pictures is growing rapidly. The little boy draws them from morning till night. I now have enough to wallpaper Buckingham Palace…………Twice!!!!!    I have kept them all to show the Autism people when they come in December to show them just how obsessive he gets about things.

Oh and he has now learned how to spell all the swear words and does it regularly. OK the spellings arent quite right but its really easy to work out what hes saying. Lets hope he doesnt do that in school. Wont be long before the parrot is doing it too no doubt. That’ll be fun………..NOT

Anyway, i suppose i better get some sleep. Have to be up again in 4 and a half hours. Cant get too excited though,only one of them are back in school. Two little ones not back till Tuesday.

Till next time………….love and hugs xxxxxx

October 13th, 2008

Woooooo Hooooooo my son has a job……..finally!!!!

Yesterday myself and my daughter were given an exotic kitten each. I cant tell them apart, they both look like garfield. Very cute they are with faces that look like they have been hit with a frying pan and the biggest eyes ever.

Youngest son is having quite an Autistic phase and hes joining in with conversations on TV. Jon took him out today for a tour of the castles in Wales, he likes things like that then they went for a dig on the beach and the little one sat and played in the sand with his lego men.

I woke quite early today feeling pretty energetic so i tidied up stairs…….it wore me out so i went back to bed.

I have just added to my frugal friends list…….sorry if i have missed anybody. The forum grows more amazing all the time and the support we all give each other is second to none. We are really hoping to get to Birmingham in November, theres so many members i would love to meet. We can’t plan it untill nearer the time as i just dont know how i will be feeling from one day to the next but fingers crossed.

I feel i shouldnt really keep adding to my blog as hubbys IVA is over and done with. Nothing i can say on it could really be of much help to anybody. I shall keep reading though and maybe blog occasionally.

Hugs xxxxxx

The Meeting

October 6th, 2008

Well, today was the meeting with the lady from the autism team.

She observed my son for a while in class and tried some activities with him. She noticed lots of signs of autism in him today and how he obsesses. She also said hes very lovely, which of course i already know.

The next step is something called DISCO (not the dancing) Its a 4 hour appointment where we go over as much of his history as possible. Basically its a diagnostic tool.

After the meeting i called in to see mum and we were sat chatting about some of his history. We dont do Santa in our house because my son wants to stab him and the mere thought of him coming into the house sends him into blind panik. We dont have an easter bunny or a tooth fairy. He would never cope with that. We got to chatting about lots of things that i had forgotten about, things that will all be useful for the next appointment. I am going to start writing a list as i remember things so i can go over it all with them on the day (4th December). Gonna need a roll of wallpaper to fit it all on me thinks.

Mum bought him some new riding boots. He really loves them and wants to wear them for school.

Theres a little girl in his class who really mothers him. Hes soooo mean to her the way he talks to her and she never bats an eye, shes so forgiving with him. We have sat her down and explained to her about him and i know her mum and dad well so they already know so never judge.

He’s 5 years old and i have already had many sleepless nights about the thought of him going to high school. How will he cope? what will other children think of him? will they think hes weird? I know its a long way off and i shouldnt think like that but i just cant help it. He wouldnt even notice if somebody hated him or loved him.

I know my blog is just turning into my life story but its the best way i know to get some things off my chest. Sorry if anyone is bored with it.

The relapse………..better still today although still got some symptoms. They are just a bit easier to cope with now than they have been. My appetite isnt too good right now but im kind of glad because i ate like a pig for a week.

Good news on the forum today. IVA’s being accepted. I’m so pleased. I do love a happy ending.

I shall now shut up going on for tonight and rejoin the forum

Hugs for now xxxxx

October 6th, 2008

I have been reading some of the blogs tonight. If im honest, they are a part of the forum that i didnt really explore untill lately.

I sit here quite often wrapped up in my own self pity , i suppose not realizing that we all have a story to tell.  The people on this forum are truly amazing, the things they have been through to lead them to the forum and the things they are still going through whilst coping in their journey to being debt free. Theres been many tears shed and even more sleepless nights. Many lessons been learned and even more still to learn but we cope and we go through life with a smile on our face.

The forum gets stronger by the day and i really do feel proud to be a part of it, as im sure most other forum members do too. We have found many new friends and learned so much from each others experiences and of course from the technical experts.

Tomorrow is my meeting at the school with the lady from the autism team. I’m a bit nervous, which is why i’m awake so late at night. My son’s obsessions seem to be growing and he’s wanting to be at home all the time. Maybe its his “safe” place, safe from people and safe from the world outside which he doesnt really understand. Who knows?

Today, hes drawn a big pile of pictures, every one of them of a shark or sharks teeth or a sad face inside a sharks mouth. Hes been on you tube watching everything he can find thats to do with sharks. He just types in the word “sharks” and thats him sorted. I shouldnt pity him, he is who he is but sometimes i just want to hug him and lock him away from the big bad world.

We had word yesterday that our mortgage has been transferred to another company. Perhaps another sign of the credit crunch? Our fixed rate ends next year and i do worry about the interest rates and the fact that hubby’s IVA will still be on his credit file for a further year after that. It looks like we will have to slog it out for that extra year and hope that maybe after that, things will have started to settle down again. We felt quite secure after the IVA completed and now i’m feeling a bit anxious again. Doesnt life have a funny way of knocking you down again every time you pick yourself up?

I really should take myself off to bed now. I’m running the risk of sounding like the bringer of doom and gloom LOL

To all my lovely forum friends………i love you all xxxxxx      To any new members that may be reading……….Keep your chin up, theres always a sollution to every problem and you WILL find the one that suits you xxxxx

Goodnight all xxxxxx

October 3rd, 2008

It’s been a funny couple of days. I took the little boy to school, his teacher was telling me that the day before they had done a sniff test. They were smelling different foods. When it was the turn of my little boy, 2 out of 3 of the foods smelled like………Shark…………yes, i did say shark. Hes obsessed. Everything for months has been about sharks and the obsession is growing.

Today he went on a trip with school. He was terrified of going on a bus as hes only ever been on one and his dad was driving it. Anyway, they managed to get him on it and he had a good time although he must have been really scared because by the time he got home he had half eaten the collar on his shirt. Its strange the way their little minds work. Things that come so easy to other 5 year olds are a massive deal to him. He usually takes something from home to school, something little that he can just keep in his trouser pocket to make him feel secure. Today he took a shark tooth.

Monday theres a meeting at the school. Theres a lady from the autism team attending so we shall see what she has to say. His teacher thinks hes showing a lot of signs just lately. He hasnt ridden his pony for a few days. All he wants to do is lie in the wheelbarrow and pretend to be a baby in a pram.

My relapse…………well, i cant make my mind up if the steroids are actually working. Most of the old symptoms are passing but theres new ones appearing. I will have to keep my eye on them. My specialist is chasing up an Occupational Therapist. They think it may be an idea to have a bedroom built on downstairs. Dont get me wrong, sometimes the stairs dont bother me but other times they do. When the relapse first started i fell up the stairs because i had a dizzy spell. I banged my head as i fell. Theres been a lot of times when i have gone dizzy at the top of the stairs and fallen down them. MS is a funny illness, no 2 days are the same and the tiredness is crippling. I can be sat chatting one minute and nodding off the next. I have a patch at the top of my left leg that keeps going numb, it starts off like pins and needles. I have a patch at the top of my right leg that buzzes as if my mobile phone is vibrating in my pocket but when i go to get it, its not there. The feeling in my finger tips comes and goes all day long and last week the tip of my tongue felt like i had been eating superglue LOL The list goes on but i wont bore you all with every symptom.

I must admit though, i do worry about it. I watch my kids laughing and wonder how long i will be around for, will i be able to watch them all turn into adults and if i will ever see a grand child. Its OK though LOL my anti depressants get increased next week, i should be singing then.

I do try to carry on as normal and im NOT as brave as people may think, i just dont show it, i keep it all in. My attitude to it is, how can my kids be positive if i cant be. So to them i smile and carry on but sometimes its so bloody hard. They cant see my pain so most of the time they dont know its there and i like it that way. Once in a while, i open up to my mum but she always ends up crying so now i try not to.

Jon is taking the little boy out for the day tomorrow so i can have a sleep in and tomorrow night im off to see a good friend who i dont get to see very often, or at least i will be if i can stay awake for long enough.

Anyway, thats enough of my rattling for one night. Its not as if im even rattling about anything thats going to help anyone so i will pop off back to the forum and see whats happening xxxxxxxx


October 2nd, 2008

Well i dont even know if im doing this right. My plan is to just keep ading to my blog so lets see if this works.

Jon and me were sat chatting last night. He was saying that after watching me write my blog, he got to thinking. He said “you know what, we really have been through a lot havent we”

My blog was the first time i have ever really got everything off my chest in one go. It felt good actually, a bit like a weight had been lifted.

I’m a real thinker, some would say i think far too much. I suppose i do, my thoughts keep me awake at night. Last night i was so hot in bed that i decided i would sleep down stairs. I got to thinking just how lovely jon is…….i mean,  i always knew he was lovely but looking back over the years, hes had a lot to deal with. I sent him a text today thanking him for the past 7 years. He text back and asked “why thank you?” i told him it was just nice to tell him how much we appreciate him.

I think sometimes it can be easy to take people for granted but just a little thank you once in a while makes all the difference.

Our Story

September 30th, 2008

Well, where do i start?

 I was a single mum of 3, we didnt have a lot but just plodded on as best we could. Then i met Jon.

That was 7 years ago. He was everything i ever wanted and more, kind caring and loved me and the kids as a package and best of all – he wasnt a lay-about, he was a worker. He soon got a job near to where we lived and he moved in with us. The job wasnt anything flash and didnt pay too well but to him it was work and a way of supporting his new family.

He had debts but hey, doesnt everyone? We thought we would cope. He so wanted to give us everything we had never had so out came the dreaded credit cards. It was nice, all of a sudden we had nice things and new furniture instead of all the second hand stuff i had given to me over the years. I suppose you could say i was naive, not really thinking about where the cash would come from to actually pay the credit cards.

We took out finance on a new car and caravan and still though, yes we can cope, we can pay this every month.  Jon went to open a new account with Lloyds and came out with a £19,000 loan that the bank manager kind of talked him into having. Yes, yes, i know, he could have said no but we thought it would pay off some stuff and make things a bit easier on us.

Where did that money go? what did we buy? i honestly couldnt tell you now.

Then we took on a mortgage. Jon wanted to give me the home i had grown up in since my early teens. Baby number 4 came along round about then and boy, he hit us like a steam train. He was such hard work. He wouldnt feed, wouldnt sleep and wouldnt stop crying.

Things then got even tighter and we started to worry. Jon tried everything, minimum payments and balance transfers. Then the overdraft grew and grew. We had to use it just to be able to eat.

Night after night for weeks, Jon would be on the internet looking for sollutions. He even once commented about throwing himself of a bridge. He said as everything was in his name, i would be free of the debts. I soon got that idea out of his head. You dont wait years to find your soul mate and let him go again.

Anyway, he read up about this thing called an IVA, it would mean just one monthly payment, a much lower payment at that. It made me feel really uneasy if im honest. I suppose thats the pecimist in me. He came across a company called Debt Free Direct and gave them a call. He came off the phone sounding really positive. Maybe at last things would get easier? i still wasnt sure.

I remember the day of the creditors meeting. I was a nervous wreck. I decided to paint the front door white to take my mind off things. Jon was at work. I remember that day like it was yesterday.

The phone rang, it was Jon, this IVA thing had been accepted. I didnt know a lot about it and i suppose i was too scared to ask. What i did know was that things would be tight for a few years and at some point Jon would have to give up some of his equity in the house.

We plodded on and got used to living on a tight budget. The baby was a nightmare, i had never known a baby as bad. I was really beginning to feel the strain and began to feel really tired. Jon took a days holiday to let me sleep in and he would take the kids to school. I remember hearing the door shut as they left and i drifted off back to sleep. My mobile rang……it was Jon……but he had only just left. He was passing my mums house and he saw her in her garden. She said she was waiting for an abulance that my step dad…….my beloved step dad……who i idolised, had died. I thought my world was going to end there and then. I ran screamng into my next door neighbours house. I was devastated!!

Mum coped really well considering. Me on the other hand, i was a wreck, mum even gave me sedatives. We buried him and as the saying goes…..life goes on. I missed him so much and spent a lot of time laying flowers on his grave and just talking to him.

This IVA thing seemed to be going well. I still didnt really know a lot about it so i decided i would have a read up. It didnt seem too bad i suppose and i kept telling myself, this is so much better than all the letters and phone calls we used to get.

I was still soooo tired. Why wouldnt this baby sleep? I woke up one morning and my vision was a bit funny and my left eye really hurt. I went to the opticians and he told me it was just a form of migrane and it would pass. It did pass after about 6 weeks.

We were making plans for a holiday. Mum decided that with the money my step dad had been saving to take her away she would take us away. We had a lovely week in Tunisia. A couple of days after coming back i started to lose the feeling down one side of my face. It was quite funny actually because if i smiled only one side smiled and if i frowned only one side frowned. I went to see my GP who didnt actually know what it was but gave me some pills to take to see if it stopped it.

Six weeks passed and it did stop. The tiredness was chronic by then and i used to take the little one next door and they would watch him while i just slept. Agian, i went to see my GP. He said it was understandable that i was so tired, the little boy must have been taking it out of me. OK i thought but why am i aching so much? i really feel like i have been beaten with a stick. Again he said it was probably just the strain of the little boy so i believed him and off i went home.

A few months passed. I was sitting having a coffee with my friend and i had this real funny sensation in my left leg. You know like you get if you have been sat on it for too long and get up. It came and went for days but it was getting more frequent. It was friday at about 5pm and this feeling started to spread into my arm. I got a bit worried and rang my GP. The receptionist said as it was too late on a Friday afternoon i would have to wait till next week. I explained the problem and she put me on hold. When she came back she said the GP was going to wait behind for me and i should get myself there in an hour.

He asked me lots of questions then examined me then picked up the phone. He rang the local hospital and said he was going to send me in and he wanted me to have an MRI scan. All over that weekend i got worse and worse. I couldnt walk or talk properly and if i reached out to pick anything up, i missed. Tuesday came and the hospital porter came to get me to take me for the MRI and when i had it he took me back. I was lying in bed reading a magazine 2 hours later when a crowd of doctors came to my bed and drew the curtains around me. Im sorry Lisa one of them said, you have MS and its far too aggressive. I couldnt see her properly through my tears. She explained about the treatment she wanted me to have and then they left.

OH MY GOD I HAVE MS!!!!!! am i going to die? what to i tell Jon and the kids? What do i say to mum?

It wasnt long after that they arrived to visit me. They came in full of smiles………till they saw me……….i just blurted it out and the kids went histerical crying. Jon was brilliant he just hugged me and calmed everyone down.  He wanted to walk away from his job there and then to look after me but he had this IVA, he couldnt walk away, he couldnt cut his hours down and he couldnt take time off. The IVA had to be paid if we were to keep our home.

Again, we plodded on, we learned to cope with the fact i had MS and i started on a clinical trial. It was meant to be a very good treatment for MS but it was CHAEMOTHERAPY. I had 5 lots. I was so ill with it and more than once contemplated stopping treatment and taking my chances. Poor Jon, he still had to go to work and he hated every minute of it. He just wanted to be at home taking care of me but he couldnt. Mum and my friend next door looked after me.

The little boy was still a right royal pain in the back side only now he was talking and swearing and doing really unusual things. I already had 3 kids and knew that something wasnt quite the same with him. He went for his 3 year check up and he was climbing the walls…….he trashed the place. The health visitor finally agreed with me that something wasnt quite right and she referred him to an ADHD doctor. She threw him out!!!!! His behavious was so bad and the language so foul that she couldnt hear my answers to her questions.

It was nearly time for him to start school. Oh My God, how would they cope with him? i was his mother and i couldnt cope.

The school intake teacher had seen him around the school with me and had an idea what he was like so we had a meeting and it was decided he would be intergrated really slowly. GREAT!!!!! there went the prospect of any kind of break from him. The more they got to know him the more they knew they needed help from outside so they called in an Educational Psychologist. On her second visit she suggested that maybe he was Autistic.

Life just gets better and better…………NOT!!!!

Things by now were really getting on top of me. I was ill and tired and this sweet looking little boy kept threatening to stab me. I was going to start sleeping with one eye open me thought.

I was sooooo niggly and grumpy and Jon and me started to argue. The kids were feeling the pressure by now and were worried that we may split up. I hated myself. I couldnt sleep at night and i cried constantly.

I hated this IVA thing, it was it’s fault Jon couldnt take any time off to help me out.

I was sitting up browsing the internet and came across this forum. I started reading and just couldnt stop. These people were fantastic, so nice and supportive.

I read about something called a Full and Final. What if? we could put an end to this IVA. I started working it all out in my head what we could do. I told Jon and at first he wasnt interested but i went on and on and because i was actually speaking positive for a change he decided to have a read too. He made the first couple of posts and then i took over.

There was Andy Davie, Melanie Giles, Skippy, lily, aguise and others who were all so welcoming and answered our every question. Maybe this Full and Final things wasnt as unreachable as Jon thought??

We put pen to paper to Jons IP. We used all of the advice we had been given on the forum, explained a bit of what we had been through and how it was affecting us as a family and we asked if we could settle this IVA early.

We made contact with Andrew Graveson and he was brilliant, he took us through the process of a remortgage and found us a deal. I was soooooo scared. What if this all goes belly up?

A creditors meeting was called and Jon was told to go ahead with the remortgage because the offer had been accepted. WooHoooo, we were going to be free. The mortgage completed and Jon took the cheque to DFD personally and handed it over. A couple of days later we actually found out that infact it hadnt been agreed on the day it had been adjourned and agreed later. It could have all gone horribly wrong…..but thankfully it didnt.

Its been almost 9 months now. We are stronger than ever as a couple and indeed as a family. Both my son and me recieve Disability Living Allowance and Jon has since recieved a bit of a payrise so things are much much better.

We dont need credit and would never want it. We can save for things we need or want and can sit comfortably knowing thats its all bought and paid for.

We saved up and bought a little pony for the little boy. He loves him!!!!!!! and his confidence has grown no end.

We have since bought another horse for our daughter and we have something we can do as a family.

I spent so much time thinking my life had no meaning. I had MS so how could it?

Now my life is all about watching my kids growing up doing something they love and enjoy.

I suppose my blog is all about telling people that no matter how hard things get and no matter how much life throws at you, there is a sollution, life is still worth living even if its not to the extent you have been used to. Most importantly, life is all about love and family……..not meaningless materialistic possessions.

We are living proof